Actually its quite interesting subject and I’ve often wondered — I have trauma, but others have it worse — why do my traumatic experiences create BPD, when others will get depression and anxiety?

There’s a trauma psychiatrist called Gordon Turnbull who said its not what you experience that causes post-traumatic stress, but the meaning you ascribe to it. In other words, how the experience made us feel determines how likely and to what degree we’ll be affected. I think for me a combination of being very young, and very sensitive meant, everything hurt that much more.

However, there’s no escaping that some people have BPD without trauma, or seem more easily traumatised. A recent paper suggests the rate of inheriting the condition via genetics is around 40%. Mental illness runs in my family as well.

So it’s always a question I ponder, did I acquire BPD via trauma, or did BPD create the trauma from itself. For me there’s no easy answer, but I still believe the meaning of the experience, is more important than the experience itself and can form a strong basis for recovery.

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Freelance journalist writing on mental health and disability. Words have the power to shine a light on realities otherwise missed.

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