Hi Raphael, thanks for your lovely comment. I’m so glad you found the article useful. Yes, for many of us it feels like one long struggle in the dark; that is until we get the diagnosis. Then it’s like a ‘aha’ moment. We may feel better or worst with a label but at least there’s a name for what we’ve experienced.
I have to say, for me, one of the most difficult parts of recovery is surveying the devastation left behind from previous years. Because you will get better, and when you do life becomes more ordinary. You are reacquainted with emotions of joy, hope, love, strength, and things like friendships and relationships – all things essentially synonymous with Life oFTEN reveal the truth you spoke about; that we did spend many years close to death. And there were so many missed opportunities.
Sometimes the farther away you get the more painful it becomes. The good news is the pain is more manageable. The willingness to remember and acknowledge what’s happened (the good bad and ugly) is an important tool for healing. In fact without that willingness it’s easy to slip back into ‘escape mode’. Back into BPD. I’m glad the article helped – as they say in DBT. It might not be the life you wanted however it can still be a life worth living!