Hi Reverie, thanks for your comment. You’re right, it’s more complicated than that, and this is just one point of view, out of a plethora of opinion. When I write these articles I’m not doing it to advocate one position, rather to spark interest and encourage people to reflect on different ideas about recovery. If it was as simple as this everyone would be better. What I was pointing out was, that according to the psychodynamic theories, e.g. peter Fonagy ‘love’ (in this case interest, validation) promotes Mentalisation. Mentalisation is a key skill in terms of healing and recovery. Will it work every time? As you said, it hasn’t worked for you or your mum, so the answer is no – if a person has severe bpd professional help is needed. That’s why I mentioned MBT as a potential way forward.